After a Monday that started the week off rocky, it was no surprise that my husband suggested a Daddy Takeover Tuesday theme that focused on helping me (the wife) out.
In all honesty, my husband helps all the time. But he doesn’t think he’s as helpful as he actually is. So, instead of focusing on helping out, I’ve chosen to tweak the theme a bit to: helping out a little extra.
Monday was a difficult day for me. No particular reason. But some days we just have bad days, and yesterday was one of those for me. My husband, wanting to make me feel better, asked for all the input on how to help out so I could have a break, or take some time to myself. And I was very appreciative.
Sometimes all that is needed is just a little extra help that your partner needs in the difficult times. It doesn’t take a grand gesture to make an impact. Likely, that’s not what is desired anyway, as that will add extra strain and guilt on your partner who is already feeling guilty.
The little extra helping moments, such as watching the children for a half hour and giving them positivity is key. This is what I needed yesterday, and exactly what my husband did. The kids had a boost from a perspective other than mine (which was no doubt grumpy), and I needed a little time to recuperate and gain some positivity and stamina to work through the rest of the evening.
A little extra help is sometimes all your partner in crime needs. Supporting each other is the key to our success, and I encourage you all to see if you can help out a little extra as well today. Or, if you need the extra help, don’t be afraid to ask. Communicating our needs is where it all starts.
This week my husband and I have been focused on nutrition more so than normal, and appropriately since we are on day seven of our 30 day cleanse. So it’s appropriate that my husband asked for today’s topic to be on nutrition as a piece of self-care.
It might be even more fitting today for me. I have been fighting more pain, fatigue, and weakness since starting this cleanse a week ago. And, with all I’ve learned in my nutrition and wellness journey, I know I need to listen to my body. So, I reached out to my friend and nutritionist who agrees it is time to back off for now. To address the things that have come up, and to try to correct imbalances that may be present.
But, for my husband, things are going well. And, as with all things, support is key. So I will support him in his continued cleansing journey, and he will support me as I revise my plans and intentions.
And more so, it’s important to show our children how to care for ourselves, even if that means it doesn’t align the same as everyone else’s paths. We all have different journeys, it’s how we support one another that matters.
My father has a signature saying, “The phone works both ways.” He often has said this when me or my siblings have asked why we haven’t heard from him. When I was younger, I used to repeat it back to him. I couldn’t understand why I had to call him, instead of the other way around. It wasn’t until recently that I truly understood.
My father wasn’t ever expecting his kids to put forth all the effort. See, he was always thinking of us, loving us, and working to support us. Of course, as children, we didn’t see it that way. Only, I wish I had. He wanted us to put in just a bit of effort as he was always putting in effort even when we couldn’t see it.
When my husband suggested the topic of it’s a two-way street, I immediately thought of this story and how I should have gotten my dad’s message earlier in life. And truly, the street is often multi-directional, because many times situations have many components and contributors.
We all need to give a little to meet in the middle. We should never expect anyone to give their all in a situation without any reciprocation. Essentially, we just need to care about others and put in effort to show how we care. When we do this, we can overcome so much together. And create a stronger, more peaceful, world for our children.
I am sure you have heard laughter is the best medicine. This is quite true. If ever you need a boost, or if you want to feel more optimistic, laughter is the way to go.
This is the same for our children. Laughter can offer distraction, change negative attitudes, and promote happiness. And what better way to get the laughter started than with tickling?
Our kids come to my husband daily asking to be tickled. It is quite comical to see them ask to be tickled, then giggle and shriek for it to stop. They know Daddy is the best source for tickles, and they know their laughter from such activity brings them joy. Even our youngest son, who is now 14 months old, has started making tickling sounds and attempts to tickle tummies and feet.
As parents the act of tickling is great too, because we laugh when we see our kids laugh. And playing with our children in such an innocent way promotes positivity and enjoyment.
However you choose to invoke laughter in your household, do it! Bring the happiness!
In our household we love the saying: Above all else, be kind. And we believe in living by it.
My husband reflected on this today. With all the heartbreak in our country right now it is more imperative than ever to deliver the right message to our children. When we start with kindness, everything else will fall into place.
Our children will learn what we teach them. Inevitably that is how things unfold. But with this, we need to be thoughtful on what we do teach, because with each generation we can instill more change, more hope, more kindness.
Today I ask you, as a parent, choose to teach your children to be kind. Teach them the foundation of kindness, and why it is so important. Teach them to love everyone, to help everyone, to be kind always. With that foundation your children can do anything. They can change the world.
On an ending note, much like the opening quote, the other saying our family lives by is: Be the change you wish to see in the world. It starts with how we teach our children.
Today I would like to give a tribute to all the dads out there selflessly caring for their families.
This is a tribute to the dad that get up early to go work many hours to provide for his family. While you may or may not be the only provider for the household, you work hard. Your time away from home is not lost on your family.
This tribute is for the dad who makes two dinners. One for the kids, and one for the adults (because making the extra effort to make two meals is well worth avoiding the dinner battles). He never complains, and only aims to please.
This is a tribute to the dad that makes the same Lego figurine over and over, because his son wants it so badly. But the same son also wants to recreate a crash with the Lego figurine over and over, so dad keeps rebuilding it.
This is for the dad that cuddles his daughter, because she’s a cuddle bug and missed her dad all day. The same dad that also chased her about and asked her many times to stop climbing all over the furniture and not talk back.
This tribute is for the dad that keeps at all the parenting duties all day, every day, getting little time to himself, and never complaining. You are a great dad. A wonderful partner. You are appreciated, always.
This week my hubby asked me to bring light to communication. This is timely as I’ve been working on a section about communication in the book I am writing. But, as this is only a microblog post, I will have to consolidate my many thoughts on the matter.
Today let’s focus on how to communicate. As all of you likely already know, our tone and body language hold even more value than our words. Let me use a child’s please as an example. If our child says “please” with a smile and sing-song voice, while excitedly bouncing and holding her hands together in an effort to keep contained, we can assume sincerity and hope. But if our child says “please” with a frown and tone laced with anger and frustration, while stomping his feet, we can assume the intent is forced and not genuine.
As adults we can infuse our words with much more through action, tone and body language. It is very important to communicate with our children and with each other with these aspects in mind. Yes, this will likely be a continuous work in progress, but that’s absolutely normal.
Today I encourage you to check how you say something as well as what you say. Do unto others as you wish done unto you. If you deliver your message in a way you would like to receive it, then you are likely on the right track.
Sometimes the best thing we can do to teach our children is to lead by example. Have you ever noticed your kids mimic your behavior? If you go through a season of raising your voice, they will do the same when talking to siblings or friends. Or, if you offer things to others, like making cookies for neighbors, your children will start sharing their snacks as well.
It’s true, when we lead by example, our children will watch. And one good way to do this is by offering a helping hand to others. This week my husband highlights helping others, because it’s something that gives an immediate and lasting impact.
Help can be given in many forms, and doesn’t have to cost a dime. Generosity in the form of helping others who need us can have a lasting impact. We can strengthen our relationships and show how much we care for others. And our children are ever watching, which means they will learn additional layers of kindness.
Truth be told, helping others also helps us. Not only does it teach our children good lessons, it also can offer us our own sense of pride and happiness. When we do things for others it can really help our emotional state and strengthen our ability to be positive, even during difficult times.
So today, from my children’s dad to you, it is encouraged to lend a helping hand. There are so many benefits, and the lasting effects are wonderful. You got this! Go be helpful!
As parents we can get busy. Caught up in the day-to-day, and forget the individual needs of our kiddos. This week my husband offers the reminder to spend time one-on-one with your children.
This can truly speak to moms and dads alike. If you have one child or ten, it’s fun to have family activities, but you can really strengthen your bond with kids when you take time to spend as a duo (just you and your child).
Children may have hidden insecurities or stresses they don’t know how to really express, or may feel embarrassed to share with the entire family. But if you foster your relationships with one-on-one time, it will allow children to feel comfortable and give them the opportunities to share their worries either openly or during the coveted individual time.
In addition it helps children to create strong, lasting relationships with you. And the memories, these will be strong! Children like to know they are special and loved for who they are, as individuals.
Finally, this allows the parents to slow down and get to know their children well. The foundations that can be established with routine one-on-one can be enjoyable and foster amazing relationships.
So this Tuesday, my husband encourages you all to take the time, one-on-one. Make a routine. And get those moments, those memories, developing!
My hubby is a BIG advocate for taking time each day with your significant other. He also believes in the importance of date nights and taking trips without the children. So today we focus on recharging yourself by taking downtime with your spouse or significant other.
Dads and moms out there, this message is for both of you. It is important to take time to enjoy the company of the person you choose to be with. To connect and find joy with that person. It allows you to feel loved, and to show the love you have for him or her.
Human connections are so important, and taking time to foster your relationship is imperative to its success and wellbeing. This reminder is not meant for just romantic relationships either. There are many parents out there going at this thing alone. For these parents it’s so important to take time to connect with those in your wheelhouse, such as a good friend or family member.
At the end of our days sometimes we can feel so exhausted and warn down by all our children need and the responsibilities that demand our attention. It can feel overwhelming to take time to give to someone else. But remember, you aren’t just giving, you are receiving. That person is there for you too! You are in this together, and it’s okay to lean on each other.
If you haven’t taken time to spend with your person recently I encourage you to start today. It doesn’t need to be big. Simply sit and talk with one another, or watch a TV show together. Just be present.